I'm a big believer in such cheesy things as "you can choose your attitude." I also just started reading the book that Maggie gave me, Eat Pray Love. The main message I've taken from it and have been trying to live by is to let go of all my worries about the things I don't have and fear I'll never have, like love, and to just believe that all things will work out. I don't want to look back at this exciting time in my life where I've gotten to have so many cool experiences and think that it was wasted away by worrying and feeling sorry for myself for being single.
Choosing my happiness and my attitude has been working for the most part. It takes some effort, but I am very happy with myself. Today my heart broke a bit and my attitude is truly being tested. I am trying my best to take comfort in my friends and to focus on something I love to do, taking pictures. I'm thinking about finally treating myself to something I've been wanting forever, a nicer camera. I can't tell you how just thinking about the new things this camera will be able to do makes me so excited, just what I need on this particularly challenging day to my wee little heart.
3 comments:
One thing I love about you Jessica is your honesty, both with yourself and on this blog.
You're not wallowing in self-pity - you're out there trying to make the best life for yourself and enjoying some of the perks that only a single life can offer.
But neither are you pretending to be wholly satisfied with it, either. You are honest enough to admit that you do want something more, something different.
I hope you find that missing piece someday and I think you are brave for discussing your feelings so openly.
Thanks Kate. I know it's risky putting some of this stuff out there and obviously I don't go into too many details about exactly what's happening, but this blog is about a single thirty-something so I feel like I should be honest about it not being all roses nor all thorns. I also know that if I wasn't single it wouldn't make everything all roses either. In either situation, I always want to take ownership over my happiness.
I wanted to add that my heart didn't just break a bit for myself yesterday, but also for someone else in my life. It's true people, I care about others!
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