Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Promises to myself

Work is ingrained in my cells, the stress chowing down on my brain like a ferocious to do list eating monster. I can't even rest without one of the bajillion items on my to do lists tapping me on the shoulder saying, "Hey! Don't forget about me!!!! You will fail if you do!"  It's exhausting to be me right now. Not because of all the things I need to do or the weight of responsibility on my shoulders and arthritic neck , everybody has that. But because there is another being who lives inside me, she's my evil twin, or my parasitic twin. She reminds me of all the things I need to do and then interrupts me with a hundred more. She reminds me that a messy or dirty house drives me bat shit crazy, that my skin just keeps getting worse and worse. She reminds me that I'm fat and that my hair sucks. She tells me that no one will laugh at the Mortified piece I'm working on now. She tells me I'm a horrible wife and she doesn't get how he can love me. Evil Twin tells me to pay more attention to my dog. She wakes me up at night reciting my various to do lists and reminds me of my fear of insomnia. I don't know how to cut ties from my evil twin. I will make an attempt to kill her with my newest to do list: To Do in order to murder my evil twin
1.  Get healthy. Take a fucking sick day to finally recover from this upper respiratory infection. 
2.  Do more active things like running, biking, swimming
3.  Schedule a massage. 
4,  Hire a cleaning service. 
5. Get all perfectionist on my new Mortified piece. 
6. Go on a date with my husband. 
7.  Spend some money and go "back to school shopping" because cute clothes help me feel cute
8.  Buy some new bright lipstick. This my friends, can solve all the world's problems. 
I promise to work on all these things so my husband doesn't divorce me, my friends will occasionally call me, and so I don't turn into a depressed obese hoarder. 

No comments: