Sunday, June 23, 2013

ABC Blogger's Block Challenge "C"

C is for crying. I've been doing a lot of it lately. The jump in crying episodes happened when I stopped taking the pill to try to conceive (same time that my face exploded back into teenage skin). I cry when I am touched by something and am now more easily touched. Bobby just says or does something sweet and i cry. I cry when I'm sad and depressed, like every Sunday night now (if not more) with the fear, stress, waking anxiety and dread of going back to work, especially when a teacher calls in saying she won't be there and I'm already short staffed as it is. (Please pray that I find an assistant and fill the rest of my openings very soon with the right people. I think this will be huge not just for my program but for my mental health... And physical Heath really. My stress level has been fucking with my periods-makes knowing if and when I ovulate very challenging/impossible. I cry when I watch movies. I lost my shit watching the cop movie, End of Watch, just thinking about my brother. Bobby said no more cop movies. When I lost it at the end of Behind the Candelabra, the HBO movie about Liberace, Bobby said no more movies.  But really, this whole Sunday blues thing has gotten out of hand. Work has now taken over my brain on the weekends. Really people, will work for pay cut or with a good assistant and then I promise no more crying. 

2 comments:

Ann said...

Oh, man...that sounds rough. Stress, no matter the source, is just no good. Hope things improve at work and I'll be sending you some good hormonal juju as well. DEEP BREATH!

jessica said...

Thanks, Ann! I lost one more staff person today. I knew that it would get worse before it got better. Hopefully we'll be back on the getting better aide soon.