Sunday, July 22, 2012

Having it all

The topic that seems to be everywhere and annoys the crap out of me is, "Can women really have it all?"  Hey people, guess what?  It's all relative. Your definition of "having it all" and mine could be totally different and that needs to be okay.  I do my best to choose not to feel inadequate as a woman, but man (hee hee), there's a lot out there to challenge that...TV, blogs, books, magazines, my work environment, Facebook, Pinterest, and so forth and so on. 

In order to "have it all" I am supposed to:

  • Work more than 40 hours a week and desire to continue to keep moving to the top:  What if I don't want that job at the top?  Why is success measured by how early or how late I stay? 
  • Be a mom.  This would be amazing but you know what?  It may not be in the cards...and there's a big part of me that is okay with that.  Geez, all the things I'd have to add to the "in order to have it all" list if I was a mom.  But really, I have the greatest respect for mothers, but I hate that society makes me feel like the biggest weirdo if I go the sans children route.  For example, Bobby and I have narrowed down some of our house hunting areas to neighborhoods where we won't feel like the strange couple without kids on the block. 
  • Be thin
  • work out
  • Be debt free
  • go to brunch with girlfriends regularly
  • have dates with my husband
  • have sex a certain amount of times on a regular basis
  • go to happy hour
  • not have wrinkles
  • sew
  • have good hair
  • have a deep spiritual side
  • be up on politics
  • read in my free time
  • cook 
  • get up early
 All I know is that I don't even want all those things on that list yet I continue to think, "I'd be a better woman if I made my husband dinner more often."  Or, "I'd be a better woman if my hair was thicker."  But no dammit, I kick ass.  And so do you. 










2 comments:

Kate said...

Wow, I totally hear you and couldn't agree more, and yet this post made me a little sad for some reason. I think b/c you are my friend and it just makes me want to hug you and remind you that you are awesome in every way. You do kick ass. Do not be hard on yourself - I am glad to hear that you are shaking off those influences or trying to anyway.

As for your list, um, there are several on there that I am falling well short of. So I guess I don't have it all by those standards. However, I'm with you on the idea that it's personal, and I do not necessarily WANT all of the things on that list for myself.

I saw this blog post way back when, and had to search for the link today but wanted you to see it. I've always thought of doing something similar on my blog but have never gotten around to it. Basically, the list of "things I do not do" (and am totally okay with). Because of course normally the blog is only highlighting the things that I DO do, while of course there are hundreds of other things that I'm not doing (which you or other people may be).

http://simplemom.net/the-great-myth/

Oh, and P.S., I really hope that my little FB posts have not been making you feel too much pressure to work out! I can stop! I just wanted you to keep caring about your health and feel good, that's all.

jessica said...

Kate, don't be sad! It's not intended to be a poor me post. It's a damn you society, women rule in so many different ways post. It's just so easy to allow myself to think I'm valued less as a woman if I'm not some of those things when really I am pretty awesome. And I don't want to feel weird or ashamed if I don't want all the things I'm "supposed" to want...like I don't have a burning desire to become a CEO, or even to be a mom necessarily (at least at this point). But unfortunately I sometimes feel that way. I am blessed that those who I love the most are those who don't make me feel that way...like you Kate. I love the exercise motivation! No lie when I say you inspire me!