Progress

I bought a new journal this weekend. I was really excited about picking one out. I have a few I've started but sometimes it's nice to start fresh. I sat in the sun by the pool this weekend and wrote in it along with a few other times of jotting down some thoughts. It just sort of helps clear and organize my brain.

The new journal led me to read some of my last one, one that was written the few months following being dumped and just as my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer. Wow. What an amazingly tough time. I don't even know if I realized what a tough time that was until I read some of the entries. I could see the hurt, the hope, and the attempt to try to grow in a challenging time. It also made me once again be so grateful for my friends and family that surrounded me at that time...although with my grandmother's death some of those family times were beyond stressful and challenging. Thank you to the friends who listened to me say the same thing over and over again, listened to me cry, remained patient with me, kept me company, and it just goes on and on. That's how I was able to get through it, well, that and faith which for me is more apparent in those tough times.

Writing in the new journal made me realize what huge personal strides I've made. They may not be apparent to others, but I feel them and that's what matters. It made me think about how that wasn't it, there will be more difficult times like that, probably even worse times, but now I know I can get through it. It takes time, a lot of time, but it's possible...and I feel like a better person for having gone through it. Tomorrow I will see a friend I haven't seen in probably eight years and despite being heavier, older, and have more wrinkles on my face since eight years ago...I think I kick eight year's ago Jessica's ass.